When we wake up in the morning, we’re full of hope. Today we’re going to get it right. Today we’re not going to make any mistakes with our kids.
Today we’re going to do everything right.
No yelling.
No mistaken words.
No harsh tone.
No belittling, or sarcasm or negativity.
And yet … we’re thrown curve balls after curve balls.
It starts with not knowing what to wear. Or how to fix their hair. And then it spirals.
A forgotten water bottle.
Lost lunch.
Each moment offers us a chance to be missionaries of peace and love and kindness.
But we don’t always trust ourselves to do what we know is right.
Why?
I’ve been on this mothering journey for about a decade. I am sure that a few years from now, I could add to this list. But, for now, I really wanted to write a post that gives any mother a little sigh of relief about a touchy topic.
Trusting yourself.
I talk a lot about putting away the parenting books and the parenting magazines and just using your intuition on knowing what’s right for this moment. I believe strongly that we’ll never have the same experiences as parents. Our family cultures vary more than our backgrounds do. What’s good for you won’t necessary be good for me.
But, we can all trust ourselves more and support each other more greatly. That’s what we do in The Abundant Mama Project.
That’s what we should all do as mothers.
But how? I know you’re saying that. I suck at this. I can’t do it very well. I messed up, again.
Enough.
Here are 12 Ways to Trust Yourself as a Mother:
Trust that you know more than you think you do. — You always do.
Trust that this moment will pass. — When you are literally trying to find the breath that’s been knocked out of you with fear or wiping the tears from sadness or cleaning away your anger and frustration, it helps to know that this is just a bad moment, not a bad life.
Trust they love you. — They really do.
Trust they will be fine. — I’ve said this before. It’s worth repeating. Your children are fine.
Trust in your dreams. They are talking to you. — Listen to them.
Trust when you want to say yes. — Say it more than you think you should for your sake.
Trust when you need to say no. — You know when it’s just not the right time or when something’s not fitting or when it just doesn’t feel good.
Trust in the power of a good slow day even if means cancelling everything. — Cancel everything. The world will still spin tomorrow.
Trust their love is more powerful than their words. — Love comes in many, many forms and often is shouted in I hate you.
Trust children know what is best for themselves. — Show them you trust them. Just show them.
Trust the strength you hold inside of you — for the hardest of hard. – You must believe in your own power. You are immensely strong.
Trust that you will sleep again, go out again, walk freely again, create again … your dream will come true if you stick with it. — There is great wisdom in going to bed as soon as the children are in bed.
Oh this is beautiful! I can’t pick a favorite “trust” because they are all so true and resonate deeply with me. I am so happy that you are able to pursue your passion full-time. You have already gifted the world with so much! I look forward to what will come forth as you can focus more time and energy into Awesomely Awake. Thank you for all that you do!
Thank you, Rachel … always a great day to hear from you. xoxo We should catch up soon.
Thank you for posting this. As a mom I always struggle with makeing the right choices for my son and I always feel like the bad guy. Maybe I am not such a “bad guy ” after all. Thank you.
If you think you’re bad then your child will think you are bad. If you think you are wonderful, he will think you are wonderful. Well, most of the time …
This is beautiful. “This too shall pass” is a big mantra of my mothering and gets me through many moments! And I love your statement that love “is often shouted in I hate you.” I’m not quite to that stage yet with my children but getting close ~ I’ll need to remember that one! Thank you.
Thank you for adding TRUST to my mama dictionary, it wasn’t there before!
Oh trust needs to be in the As …
This is an awesome post! Everything is dead on. But sometimes, as a mother and a human, it is hard to remember these things. We all need to -myself included – just remember in those moments to take a few deep breaths and remember why we do what we do. And that we are doing the best we can. Thank you for this post!
Agreed!
I love this so much. Thank you!
Glad you found it helpful.
I’m not sure how I stumbled across this post today, but it was absolute perfect timing. I’m especially moved by, “this is just the quiz, the test comes later…” Thanks for your perspective.
Thank you for taking the time to write here. Much appreciated!
Just pinned and tweeted this post, loved it!
Thank you, Chelsea! I really appreciate that. Glad you were moved by the post.
I love this so much, simple yet very profound and touchs on all those tender areas. Thank you!
Hi, I have just found your blog. Thank you for this, I really needed it. I am having a slow day today and it feels so good. Trust. I need to trust myself more.Thanks
So great to meet you … glad you found the spark of trust you needed today.
I am beginning to trust in myself more as a mother…thank you, as always, for a truly inspirational and uplifting post. You always give me so much to think about. I am going to write these all in my journal or maybe even make a card deck with this heartfelt advice. You are the best, Shawn!
What a lovely article, and what great timing it is for me to receive it now. I recently made the tough choice of pulling my son out of his nursery school program, which is run by a fellow local mom whom has another child on the same grade as mine at our local school. I knew it’d be awkward since we are acquaintances and our kids are buddies, but I just had this instinctive feeling something wasn’t quite right with the way my son was being treated in what is supposed to be a nurturing environment. Trust in your motherly instincts, no matter what others think or say!
Way to go! 🙂
Thank you for this. It was an eye opening reminder that when I am second guessing my own intuition I am not trusting myself. If I have a hard time trusting me my kids will see it and be uneasy as well. Trust myself to trust God and it is all good stuff.
Life’s been a bit of a whirlwind with moving and I feel a bit overwhelmed but after reading this I ‘m having a slow day. I also feel reassured about love being expressed in “I hate you.” My almost 12yo is at “that stage”. Thanks
So honored to get this note from you. Thank you! So glad … that stage is hard!!!
I really loved The part that says ” cancel everything”
I must learn on how to do it with no guilty fealing.
Thanks ! !
I love this!