The stories we hold about ourselves have a tremendous power on the outcome of our lives. Stories have vibration. And, depending upon whether that story serves us or not, they can be a positive or negative influence on our lives. Often, though, stories we hold about ourselves can be insidious. Their meanings are held subconsciously and we’re not always aware of their effects on our lives. Uncovering those stories and looking at them one by one to determine if they are serving us or not is spiritual work. Letting go of those that no longer serve us is even deeper spiritual work. As many of us know, it’s much easier to say “Just let it go” than it is to actually do it.
This week has been about letting go of a story that no longer serves me. In fact, it never DID serve me. It has been a long-held “story” entitled, “Single Moms Are Always Broke”. Nice, huh? Isn’t it a story lots of us hold? It’s a reason why I over-stayed in relationships that were unhealthy for me. I remember distinctly, a running commentary in my brain that went something like this:
Ooh, I have a child/two children/three children now, I have to make this relationship work. I can’t support us on my own. I don’t have the means to take care of myself, let alone my kids. Leaving is not an option.
I didn’t have the skills – or sense of Self – I do now to have a healthy relationship. My greatly expanded Self today sends healing love to my former Self and everyone involved with me then! It’s almost laughable today to look back on how I was, how in fear I lived. I recall all my memories of single moms I’ve worked with throughout the years were struggling financially. I’d see them in the city getting on and off public transit with their toddlers and strollers and backpacks. Struggling to juggle it all. Phew. Tiring just thinking about it now.
There’s also the story of my own Mom, and I think this is common for a lot of women my age. I had a stay-at-home mom while I was growing up. Great for kids in some regard, but I also had this subconscious role model that women did not make their own money. That moms (and their kids) are dependent upon their husbands for survival. Crazy and irrational, but the story began there. The story that Single Moms are Broke kept me living small. I managed to move my life forward, but the story has remained. Hanging on for dear life…
Until now. (Mwah-ha-ha…)
I acknowledged the other day that I always seem to have what I need. All my needs manage to be met. I’m not yet feeling the full effects of living in the abundant flow of the Universe, but much has changed lately that is making this a reality. Since I seem to have all I need independent of my income level, I had to look at the fact that maybe I was believing something that was keeping me away from feeling the full flow of abundance. And I realized it was this story.
In contemplation, I started to envision myself differently and asked the question, “Who am I without this energy Single Moms Are Broke?”. It was a feeling thing. I separated the energy of Single Moms are Broke from the energy of my true, loving, abundant Self. I tell you, it was very liberating.
And scary.
But I went ahead and did it anyways. The scary came from the unknown. That is all. Nothing rational about it. Just unknown and new. If I didn’t acknowledge this, just by giving it a little nod, “Oh hi Fear, there you are, seen you before, thanks we’re going ahead anyways, bye” type of thing, it would have the power to stop me in my tracks.
So this new me without the energy of Single Moms are Broke is something I’m playing with lately. It’s a process. It takes getting used to. I can rejoice in this very place I’m at because I know, once something has come up for healing like this, it is on it’s way out. It might take time. It might take effort. There may be mistakes in letting it go along the way. But boy, is it ever liberating!
Not all single moms are broke. Truthfully, no single mom needs to be broke. It’s just a story we hang on to. I ask Source to show me shining examples of single moms who are abundantly wealthy, living in flow, fully enjoying the substance of life, living and giving freely, circulating the abundance of the Universe. I shall gather these women around me in spirit and feel the supporting effects.
And so it is…
