Confidence. The thought of the day. I’ve recently undergone an inner shift. I actually felt it. I feel different. My outlook on life is different. Can’t say exactly what happened or how I’ve changed outside of a couple of noticable, subtle things. Further changes are yet to come, I suspect.
I feel I’m walking with more confidence of late. No external reason, all internal. Just decided my life would probably flow the way it’s supposed to when I start believing in my self more fully. I think the shift happened around the time I fully embraced the fact that I have created the external reality that I see before me. Pretty magnificent job, I’d say. ALL of it. I created the joyful 10 year old daughter. Well, for sure I know I created her. I keep creating the joyful part, though. I created the job that I’ve had trouble with in my mind recently but which helps keep us afloat. I created the wonderful spiritual family of mine. I created this home, perfect or not (what IS perfect, anyway?). I created this singledom situation. I created all that I see. And it’s a lot. No minimalism for me in this house!
So with this increased awareness of my role in creating my reality, I’m feeling a renewed sense of confidence. I didn’t feel it right away, though. Yesterday I had the opportunity to witness my daughter expressing the opposite of personal confidence. Not entirely opposite, but she was not bubbling over with confidence. I wondered where that came from. I wondered what happened, in that small time frame, that caused her to be less than her confident self, the one I am privy to in the comfort of our home.
I could spend lots of time and energy focusing on ‘her’ in this problem. She’s not the problem, though. She is not the source of the lack of confidence. If I create my reality, then I create all of it all of the time. She is merely reflecting for me, what’s going on inside. I was being given a precious opportunity to ask myself, where/how/why am I not feeling confident?
This kind of thinking sounds really different and really selfish, but it’s how I roll and it’s working for me. Consider where I’m coming from: Be the Change you wish to see in the world. This is what Ghandi was talking about. I need to BE confident if that’s what I want to see in the world, even if it’s in the form called little 10 year old daughter. When you see unrest, BE peaceful. When you see violent, BE calm in your thinking. When you see chaos, BE still inside..and know. Be the change. How beautiful that I have this girl by my side showing me what I need to open up to. I am so grateful and appreciative.
